Sunday, July 03, 2011

Prepare: SHTF Fiction - Surrounded by Idiots

Rex was in his workshop working on his new tool organization system when his stupid wife knocked quietly on the door.

"Dear? The president is on TV. He about to make an announcement about something.."

Rex let out his extra loud trademark sigh to indicate his lack of patience with the bag of hammers he shared marital bliss with.

"Busy. Leave me alone".

Rex went back to his project, (he was rearranging his sockets by inches rather than the New World Order metric system), but before he did, he reached over a switched on his multi band AM/FM/Shortwave/Scanner set on the shelf above.

"...clearly, this has profound implications on the security of the United States and the rest of the democratic and free world. Therefore, I have decided to impose unilateral sanctions on the Peoples Islamic Caliphate until they have demonstrated the desire and conviction to return to the civilized way of life share by the majority of peoples on this planet. Make no mistake, the United States has nothing but the up most respect for the Muslim faith and for the people of the historic and traditional region of the middle east, but their leaders have led them astray and for this, I must take action...."

Rex sighed again, muttered "twit" under his breath and switched off the radio.

A few moments later, the Box Of Rocks knocked on the door again,

"Rex, honey? The television just went out. Could you take a look at it when you are not too busy, please?"

"Leave a man alone, woman." Rex replied without turning from his work bench.

Rex did reach over to the keyboard on his PC which was also on the workbench handy in the event he had to look something important up. He opened a browser and went to the only site with real news and information, "Detonator2012" The browser timed out after 30 seconds of trying and ended up on "404 Page Not Found".

"Swell. What did that dummy do to the Internet?" thought Rex.

Hauling his butt off his Craftsman stool, Rex went to the shop door, unlocked the three locks, swept the door open, his rage growing by the moment.

"Woman! What did you do to the internet? I got work to do out here!" Rex growled as he strode from the shop into the kitchen.

Darla looked up from the cinnamon rolls she was rolling out on the kitchen counter and then quickly looked down at the floor.

"I didn't touch the internet connection, dear. I was waiting for you to come and check the TV set. I mean, when you weren't busy, darling" she quickly added.

Rex let out an extra louder than normal sigh, "Surrounded by idiots." he muttered and stomped into the family room to check the internet connection.

Family room was a misnomer as he and Darla had no children to speak of. Darla, that quack of a doctor said, was healthy as a horse and as fertile as a Kansas wheat field. It was Rex, he claimed, that had some "reproductive issues". BS thought Rex, and he refused to see another so called doctor again after that day seven years ago.

"I want a son" he demanded of his wife. "Why can't you get that through your fat head?"
Clearly it was her fault that Rex was heirless and was forced to fish and hunt alone each weekend.

Rex went to the corner next to the television and saw that the power light on the cable/internet box was lit, but everything else was dark. "What the...?" he thought.

Rex than tore back the curtains on the window and for the first time in as long as anyone could remember, was speechless.

A pall of black smoke was hanging over the area in the direction of downtown. It was then Rex noticed the sound of sirens warbling in the air. His repose was interrupted when the emergency weather siren down the street sprang to life and let out its loud deep moan.

"The Schumer has hit the fan!" Rex yelled. Excitement built in Rex's stomach much in the way a younger man would feel when he saw the woman he was going to marry for the first time or scratched off the winning number on a Lotto card.

Rex bolted for his gun safe which was in the back of the walkin closet in the bedroom "What will I take? The AR? The SKS? The WASR? What about the Mossie? Got to have some firepower, but the need for multiple man stopping rounds is too important to neglect" he mumbled to himself.

In the background, Darla was babbling something about the sirens and smoke, but Rex tuned her out as he was so adept at after many years of practice. Rex ripped open the closet door and went for the safe. His fingers were fumbling with the combination lock and he had to stop for a moment, take a deep breath before starting again.

"This was going to be great" beamed Rex inside.

Next Chapter

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