"Them rich folks are going first, followed by the welfare rabble and then a bunch of them politicians. Finally, it'll be all them hippies, commies and gun grabbers."
"So who will be left?" I asked.
"Good folks like us and a bunch of Mutant Zombie Bikers (MZB), convicts and raiders. After all, we got to have someone to shoot, don't we?" Dan'l winked.
I hated to disagree with "Dan'l" but his was wishful thinking.
Let's think about some real end of the world situations. Whether you call it TEOTWAWKI, Doomsday, the Apocalypse or the end of the world, some will be the first to suffer.
Addicts - nope, not the stereotypical heroin addicts portrayed in movies and fiction, but the everyday addicts around us. Those people you live and work with today who are hooked on cigarettes, Diet Coke and prescription drugs.
Studies have shown the first things to go in a crisis are not generators and match grade .308 ammunition, but more common addiction products: Cigarettes, soda, beer, ice (to keep that beer cold) and junk food. Many in the "prepper" community suffer from these same addictions and for some reason or another, think they will have plenty of time to stock up on Marlboros and Bud before they get to the retreat. Further, they think everyone else will tolerate their addictions and subsequent withdrawl after things really go down the toilet.
Moderately disabled - These are the folks you know (and may be one of) who tools around in their scooter, has a kitchen counter covered with a half dozen prescription drugs, and wears a "fighter pilot mask" at bed time to counter the effects of sleep apnea. So many of the survivalist crowd suffers from one or more of these symptoms, but for some odd reason, thinks they will survive the end of the world just fine thank you very much.
(Somehow the idea of seeing some 50-year old, overweight guy in a scooter toting an AR-15 at the bug out retreat does not inspire too much confidence).
Everyday entitlement dependents - Nope, not he inner-city queen with 15 children, but the other government dependent you know all too well. These are the folks living off Social Security payments, disability checks and government pensions.
I don't know how many preppers I have met who are financially dependent upon the government to provide for their day to day living expenses and then believe that they will magically survive economic and societal collapse.
The less fit or out of shape crowd - This is the overweight, 50-year old guy with a full gun safe and closet of Mountain House #10 cans, but who gets winded walking to his truck in the morning.
This is the same person who thinks the MZB's will stand still while he huffs and puffs around his retreat plinking them off like old beer cans... This is the same guy who thinks everyone else will wait for him to catch up while they walk to the bug out retreat after a dirty bomb has detonated in the city... This the same guy who is the first to complain about how bad his feet and back hurt, how he pulled yet another muscle and needs to take it easy on the couch today...
Dump this turkey from your preparedness invite list now.
The picky eater - The post-apocalyptic menu calls for rice, beans, gritty homemade bread, water and powdered milk. What is the picky, grown up eater suddenly going to do? Dig in with relish? I don't think so.
The picky eater is the middle aged person (perhaps you) who has to have meat three times a day. Needs crackers with their chili, white bread with butter at dinner and condiments on everything. This person complains if food is not prepared to his liking and mopes in the living room until his wife fixes his favorites just right.
If you know this person, remove them from your retreat list now. They will only serve to infuriate and bedevil you.
Afterwards, "Dan'l" looked at me like he was hurt and left the room muttering about needing to go inventory his preps or something. I hated to hurt his feelings, but I know Dan'l smokes, has high blood pressure and hates rice. (He has 321 cans of Spam, though). Oh well, perhaps he can find some MZB's who have an opening at their retreat.
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